Home home hogarGranada, Spring 2012

Back home. The only constant between my first and last blog posts is the computer on which they were written. The past week has been rough... really rough. In fact I think the culture shock coming back has been worse than culture shock arriving in Spain. My head’s a mess; memories are flitting in between of emotional nosedives as my Spanglish vocabulary panics and tries to make sense of it all. I’m unsure of myself, confused, panicked, scared, and sad. In short, I’m a basket case, but hey, at least this basket case learned something. That’s what I keep telling myself at least; no matter how crappy I feel right now at least I can be sure that I left Spain a little more informed about myself and my convictions. The list below is just a few things that I’ve learned over my time abroad; I know it will grow and change with time, but it’s a start. 1. You can’t lie to yourself. It always ends up badly. You end up wasting your time and energy and typically end up worse off then when you started. Things like “I’m sure I’ll like these people after the next time we hang out” or “I feel like I should [ stupid, externally motivated action ]” are pointless. 2. Live in the present. In the US I was always rushing around to do everything. Even when I was just hanging out with my friends I could constantly be thinking of the next thing we would be doing. This applies to the smallest time scale (what am I doing tonight) and the largest (when am I going to get married) and it’s horrible in both instances. If you’re constantly living in the future then you never fully enjoy the present and before you know it you’re 80 and have never really relished the moment. 3. Things usually work out ok. They just do. Don’t stress unnecessarily. 4. Listen to your gut. It rarely leads you astray. Whether you’re talking to someone that just gives you the creeps, or you’re trying to decide your next big move, intuition always knows best. If it tells you to leave, leave; if it tells you to wait, wait. The advice it gives you is not always easy to follow, in fact often times it’s the most difficult, but whether you end up actually following it or not just make sure you at least listen. Silencing your intuition means silencing the only thing you can really trust.
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